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And they say us white girls don’t have sexy asses. You know y'all BBC love us PAWGz!!
Dad wasn’t very supportive at first, but since Mommy is having an affair with Dad’s female boss and they’ve slept together several times in my parents bedroom, he no longer complains about me dating girls.
yourblowjobprincess: Relax. Just sit back and let me dance on that cock. Trust me, you’ll want no distractions while you savor this pussy — I ride better than a fucking Ferrari.
and They Says That Hes Legal ! , Oh PLZ ¬_¬
And they lived deliciously ever after!This concludes Texts Between Gems’ One Year Anniversary “Choose Your Own Adventure” arc! Click here to read it from the beginning.I’d like to thank the wonderful @jen-iii from the bottom of my heart for creating
My friends conversations: “So I’ve been talking to this guy…”Me: “Did you know years ago doctors weren’t 100% great at being able to tell if people were really dead and they used to bury people alive occasionally.
And then there's G.O. who's saying that there's good porn with good storylines and production like a movie.
have you guise seen that one commercial where there’s this woman and a man who’s flights were cancelled and then they see each other and are like “OMG you’re a blogger? Im a blogger too!?” and they all smile and fall in
chubphlosion: biscuitsarenice: She Came PreparedThe Daily Politics presenter was chatting to Charlotte and Henrietta about banning unhealthy food in schools. She came for him I was just like “yes this is amazing you go girls” then i saw it was
It always confuses me when neurotypicals think that all triggers are of the same intensity - like these asshats were getting angry about someone who had tagged something as “irl hands //” or something and they thought it was hilarious but like…
There’s something genuinely unsettling about stuff like a/ge/pla/y and stuff like that, it’s like someone looked at the laws of their country and went “how much of a reprehensible human being can i be without getting arrested?”And there’s the
heteromanticmarkiplier: B99 fans: but it’s a good show! It’s diverse and there’s lgbt characters! And they address police brutality and racism! It’s about good cops! Me: Yet like 99% of the fans I’ve seen just think it’s a good show and
People on this site really go mad when you don’t like the jokes they like huh
And they said to the mountains and to the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the presence of Him who sits on the throne, and from the wrath of the Lamb…“
seedy: when adults say teenagers are too young for love, but then too old for fun, and too smart to play dumb but too immature for serious conversations like damn what do u expect from me
my new coworkers like me so much they invited me to get stoned with them and they totally think I’m cis lmao
motherfucky: headcanon: whenever armin goes on a date, eren and mikasa follow them to judge the suitor and make sure they treat armin right. sometimes they wear disguises. they’re always awfully obvious.
annachibi: threepipeproblems: honestly the real horrifying thing about the US election is seeing Trump/Pence signs crop up around your neighborhood and its like you’ve been in a sleeper cell all these years #like how the fuck #when the fuck #I’ve
doggosource:The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened and they’ll instantly start celebrating too they have no idea what the context is, they’re just always ready to party no matter what
like, I’ve probably said this a bunch of times before, but I really like Pearl has big hands and feet (and nose). ‘cause most characters of that type, sort of graceful dancer type, are given small extremities because popular assumption is
they should make another Octodad game because my little sister loves Octodad and would like there to be another one for her to play
iamterra: neoncorekitty: elasticitymudflap: magnetic-rose: zerachin: puffintalk: p5stuck: Backstory: The original anime was literally so awful, the dubbing team were told to just go nuts and do whatever they like. This is the result. pffftahaha
autumnyte: When I was younger, I wish someone had told me straight-up that not all adults experience “a calling”. That many of them never find particular purpose in a career. That sometimes, their job is just what pays the bills and they have to
niateppelln: when you like someone more than they like you
flamingstar8: dreamworks animation studios are pretty bad amirite they never make any good movies mmmhmm all their movies suck no emotional centerpiece at all nope or good messages for kids yeah only dumb jokes and they have no aesthetic appeal
izolat: edating: kinda weird that you can think about someone as much as you want and they have no idea kinda weird that you can masturbate over someone as much as you want and they have no idea
badonelle: the best way to test if someone’s just saying they like the same things you do to get in your pants is to make up an unrealistic lie one time this annoying dude asked me what my favorite band was and I told him “boku no pico” he was
I’ve got 99 problems and they’re all because I procrastinate.
jakeenglish: i dont get why people hate hipster/summer blogs so much just leave em be all they wanna do is reblog pictures of girls in floral shorts and half-empty starbucks drinks let them that is what they like and i am 100% certain they think your
forsciencejohn: the-lovely-awkward-pickle: kemalia: this made me smile unless it’s the other way around and they started out together and then broke apart you watch bbc tv shows don’t you
darrenpoopspuppies: squirrels don’t know the square root of x and they seem to be doing fine
if i die and people post statuses about me on facebook and act like they knew me or were nice to me i will come back and fucking murder them
hiddlestonsitslikeahohoho: pausequoi: samandriel: if you don’t think history is amusing then you’re wrong because one time 3 different guys declared themselves pope all at once and they all excommunicated each other and it was basically the funniest
i had this dream where nintendo had an event and they were giving out random event pokemon. like, you’d just go onto mystery gift and after you receive a wonder card and talk to the lady, you just get some event pokemon like meloetta or mew.
some times i forget i’m in a mutual follow with people i know in real life and they post stuff like nice photography and quotes and i’m just sitting here like. oh yeah. you exist. you actually use this shit website. i should probably tone
i’m crying i went on nico to see if this person uploaded any solo covers and they literally just uploaded an instrumental version of let it go and put in the description that their “friends always say that I have a transparent voice”
this was the most unaware bastion i’ve ever played with omg there was a widowmaker behind but i couldn’t type bc i was getting shot at but like how could they have not heard that there was no one else around
firlalaith: prokopetz: prokopetz: kazorus: prokopetz: Every time someone tries to explain the metaplot of Supernatural to me, it basically ends up sounding like redneck Dragon Ball Z. I’m sure there’s some nuance I’m failing to grasp here.
I forgot to tell my tumblr this, but I got into an argument with a woman on here a few days ago, and she was completely against gay marriage, saying shit like, “Homosexuality is a DISEASE and they should be FIXED!” and I literally could not
wreckedteens: One of the best feelings ever is when someone compliments you on something you’re really insecure about and they don’t know that you’re insecure about it so you know they genuinely mean it and it’s just such a nice feeling
did-you-kno: If you’ve been leaving carrots out for Santa’s reindeer, you might want to try eggs or fresh meat instead. Reindeer often eat lemmings after stomping on them with their hooves, and they like to raid bird nests and snack on their eggs.
I honestly feel like a proud parent whenever Fifth Harmony does like anything.
theoboopis: have been rewatching s3 and musing on how rusty and pete have the kind of friendship that’s particular to two selfish unkind people, where they don’t really expect any care or interest on a personal level from one another as long as they
aewm: me: im ugly friend: no ur not!! you’re funny and cool :) me: bitch what
beckology: Please compliment girls, trust me it’s like, fucking amazing. Their faces light up and they like, get all blushy?? Compliment girls you heathens
tylorblackburn: I either like characters who are the sweetest puppies or the sassiest demonic bitches known to mankind. There is no in-between.
I just saw a gif set of some porn on my dash and THEY HAD THE SAME BED AS ME!!!
other girls are so pretty and it makes me feel like a big pile of poop
librabutch: someone i speak to every day: hey me: i miss you and i love you
neutral: WHERE IS THE LIE GUYS I POSTED THIS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY JUST BLOCKED ME ??????? I’M LIKE??????? WTF????????
jen-iii: It’s Steven’s Birthday and they all go out on a lil beach date and Steven just gushes over how cute they are together the entire time
NOW MY PARENTS SAID THEY SAW A FRIGGEN FIN BEHIND ME AND THEY DONT KBOW IF IT WAS A DOLPHIN OR A SHARK SO I HAD TO COME IN MALACHITE YOU WATER BLOCKING LITTLE SHIT
There were some people who like, were getting MAD that Amethyst had the straight edge X’s on her hands in that last pic I did and Im like??? I copied it from some crewniverse art?? It was in a like Zine they did with all the storyboarders, I couldn’t
Random thoughts Jen has at random times; I bet Ruby and Sapphire coined the term ‘Lovebirds’ because they like shapeshifted into birds or some shit and were so lovey dovey that the people who saw them called lovers ‘love birds’ because of these
Have you ever known someone who types/texts with perfect grammar or just at the very least puts a period at the end of their sentences? Like you can send a pic with ‘Look at this view!!!!’ and they hit you with“Looks good.”like??? are you upset???
when a cashier gives you the wrong change and you notice and they still make you pass like you’re the one trying to cheat them
thebeserkerhealer: 31-rabbits: aliensnipe: What if there were women’s cleanliness products that were marketed the way Old Spice stuff is? Like they had names like “Lioness” and “Sycamore” and “Wildfire” and “Hunter’s Moon” and they
i may or may not be making an AU where jaune is tricked into working at a cafe by sun and neptune and has to wear a bunny suit
I love giving guys head cause I swear every time I deep throat and go suck his buts and lick right on there gouch they go crazy twitching and spreading their legs like girls
naked-yogi: Okay, people with vaginas. If you get yeast infections… just listen to what I have to say for a lil bit. I used to get yeast infections all the damn time. I mean like… once a month and they were HORRIBLE. So of course I read into what
